Who’s really in the driver’s seat?

Spiritual Intelligence Skills Part 3

Being in charge, responsible, and accountable are all part of the leader’s job description, right? So how’s that working out for you? I hope not at all! What?!?! you ask. Read on.

When it comes to spiritual skills, your goal is to give the driving privileges of your life over to your Higher Self–which, for Christians, is the Holy Spirit. As I discussed in Part 1 a couple weeks ago, being able to discern your ego self from your Higher Self is where you have to begin in your spiritual development.

Are you aware when the Holy Spirit is nudging you to do something vs. your own self-centered desires? Once you begin to understand which voice you’re listening to, then you can make conscious choices about your responses to things. As that skill develops, then you are beginning to grow in the areas talked about in Quadrant 3 of Four Spiritual Skills Quadrants.

Quadrant 3 is entitled “Self/self Mastery” and helps you answer questions such as

  • What percentage of time is my Higher Self in charge?
  • What am I doing to shift my ego out of the driver’s seat?
  • How am I living out my mission and my values?
  • What evidence is there that I am centered and peaceful at all times?

These questions allude to the fact that the behaviors that others can observe in us are the tell-tale signs of who is really in charge as we go about our daily lives. These questions give me pause! I may be great at creating an agenda and delegating tasks and talking about the spiritual purpose behind something our group is doing, yet when my family gets the brunt of my frustrations, or my coworkers hear me being snippy with someone, or my husband is the last priority of my day, I have obviously shoved my Higher Self into the back seat!

So while I may be able to say that the skills of this third quadrant of Spiritual Intelligence are important to me, I may have to do some serious confessing if others were asked to rate my growth in the following skills:

Skill 12: Commitment to spiritual growth

Skill 13: Keeping the Higher Self in charge

Skill 14: Living your purpose and values

Skill 15: Sustaining faith

Skill 16: Seeking guidance from Higher Self

If am really conscious of mastering these skills, then I will have a growing sense of calm and peace at all times. Hmm . . . I think I have some work to do. You see, our spiritual growth not only affects us but also the people around us. If they cannot attest that our actions back up our words, then we need to do some more inner work.

Thankfully, we serve a God whose mercies are new every morning and who is able to make our old selves pass away and create within us a whole new Self. No matter how much we’ve missed the mark in the past, we can start over by turning away from those habits and accepting the forgiveness and renewing of God through Christ and the Holy Spirit. Passing that kind of grace along to others through our own humility and kindness as leaders is what will allow Christ’s peace to enter any situation.

If you’d like to know more about the SQ21 Spiritual Intelligence assessment that is available online, please contact me through my Coaching page and I can help you acquire the password you need. 

Join the conversation in the Comments section: What have you found that helps you keep the Holy Spirit in charge and in the driver’s seat instead of your own ego self that wants to overreact or respond without thinking of the loving response?



Laura Savage-Rains--coach, speaker, writer--is the founder and author of WomensMinistryCoach.com who is using her 30+ years of ministry and leadership experience to teach women how to lead with passion. She is a native Texan who has also lived in foreign places such as Alabama and Romania. She makes her home in Lakeway, Texas, with her husband, Mark. She loves to write, speak, and teach the Bible. She is also a women's ministry team member, choir member, stepmom, and Grammy to 3 little girls. She loves dark chocolate with caramel, "The Sound of Music" movie, and Barbra Streisand's music.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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